I have returned from the party I wrote about, somewhat unscathed. I worked out the previously mentioned problems a couple days before the party, which was quite nice. I had a nice time for the majority of the party. There always seems to be a line for me, when it goes from hanging out with my good and close friends, and then crossing the line, when I'm just avoiding drunks and assholes. I really don't like it when those drunks and assholes are my friends.

I don't understand, when I look at a friend who is drunk, they're acting so different than normal, and they chose to do this to themselves. They say it's to have fun at the party. They say it helps them relax. They say they just need to unwind. I was sober. I had fun. I was relaxed. I didn't need to unwind, ironically they seemed to get wound up. 2 nights out of the year I watch my friends do this, um, ritual? They always seemed relaxed, and to be having fun, when they were sober.

I guess drinking alcohol might be akin to having sex, you won't know the joys and perils of it, til having experienced it. My interest lies mainly in the latter, only morbid curiousity is reserved for the former. I guess it's a good thing there isn't a hangover after sex, I doubt people would talk about it so highly if there was. It's cliche, but I want to have it mean something special. At least more than sticking my dick in some random girl passing by.

I'd like to be in a relationship before having sex, it doesn't matter for how long, it only matters how long I've known the person. I'm also thinking way ahead, because I've only had one kiss in my lifetime. Forget sex, I just wanna be kissed. I don't think I've ever felt happier, then when I was being kissed.

My advice for this evening, waking up alone will never be as bad as waking up next to someone and feeling lonely.